Gibbs' Rules
by Gail Cregg
Summary: From Tony and Ziva holding hands to McGee being tied up and Palmer being wanted by the FBI this series of one-shots twistily based on Gibbs' Rules has a little something for everyone.
1. Chapter 1

_"Should I write these in my Palm Pilot or crochet them on pillows?"_  
Kate Todd. Yankee White.

Ziva: "_Just to be clear, are there any more of these rules I should be aware of?"  
_Gibbs: "_About 50 of them."_  
Ziva: "_And I don't suppose they're written down anywhere that I could..."_  
Gibbs: "_No."_  
Ziva: "_Then how am I supposed to.."_  
Gibbs: "_My job is to teach them to you."_  
Ziva David and Jethro Gibbs. Switch.

* * *

Abby's Apartment.

It is a few days after a hitman tried to kill Abby and the business with Mikel Mawher. McGee has come around to check on her as even though they are no longer together he still feels very protective of her. After a low key evening of computer games, NCIS gossip (would Tony and Ziva ever realise their feelings for each other, what happened between Gibbs and the Director in Paris), pizza and a couple of bottles of beer Tim finally asks the question that has been bothering him for several days.

"There's something I'd like to know Abby."  
"Yes, Timmy?" Good McGee thinks. If she's calling me Timmy she must be fairly relaxed.  
"I understand why you didn't tell Gibbs about Mikel but why didn't you tell anyone else? Tony, Ziva, Ducky, me - you know we'd have found a way to help if you'd come to us. You should've known it wasn't right to keep a secret from the team."  
"I thought about telling you guys Tim. I really did but...."  
"But..?"  
"You or Ducky would've told me to go to Gibbs. Tony might've tried to take care of it himself and then he would've told me to"  
"Go to Gibbs."  
"Now you're catching on" she says smiling. "And Ziva. Well Ziva would've...."  
"Killed him" they finish the sentence together grinning.  
"So in the end I confided in the only one I knew would keep the secret and let me handle things my way."  
Tim thinks a moment but has no idea who she is referring to. Jimmy would've told her to tell the team and surely her nuns would've encouraged her to do the same.  
"O.K. Abby I give up. Who'd you tell?"  
"Bert" she replies and starts to laugh. Joining in McGee thinks to himself. How typical! Confiding in a hippo and taking care of herself. Independent and tough. That was Abby all the way through.

* * *

_Rule 4 - The best way to keep a secret. Keep it to yourself.  
Second best. Tell one other person - if you must.  
There is no third best. Blowback._


	2. Chapter 2

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs is sitting in his basement sipping his burbon. He is staring at newspaper article pinned to the wall next to his tools. The article is accompanied by a photograph and the headline reads Death of NCIS Director Shepherd. That's a nice photo of her he thinks. I always liked her hair short. As the shadows lengthen and the level of the bourbon bottle drops lower his thoughts turn from Paris and Serbia to more recent times.

"Why did you do it Jen?" he asks as if she is still there beside him as she had been so many times in the past. "Why didn't you come to me?" he pauses almost as if he is expecting an answer to come from the photo before him. "I know I left but we were partners Jen. We shared a past. Paris, Serbia and all the rest. You know if you'd told me I would've helped. I would have come back. Why didn't you tell me?" He takes another sip of his bourbon. "Instead you had to drag Tony into it and didn't even tell me when I returned. You knew I wouldn't be happy about it but you went ahead and did it anyway. Tony was so desparate to prove himself you knew he wouldn't say no. God Jen what were you thinking? I guess now I'll never know." Gibbs takes down the clipping and places it in a drawer.

_Rule 4 - The best way to keep a secret. Keep it to yourself.  
Second best. Tell one other person - if you must.  
There is no third best.  
Blowback._


	3. Chapter 3

Autopsy.

"Good morning Mr Palmer." states Ducky cheerfully hanging up his coat and hat. Although sitting at the computer Jimmy does not respond.  
"Mr Palmer?" Ducky taps him on the shoulder almost causing Palmer to fall out of his chair.  
"Mmmmmorning Doctor" as he settles back in the chair Ducky can he see he has a black eye.  
"What happened to your eye Mr Palmer?"  
"It's nothing Doc." Ducky stares at him. "Just a small accident."  
"Well let's get to work then."  
"Right away Doctor Mallard" Jimmy responds gratefully.

Squad Room - A few hours later.

"Gibbs."  
"Agent Fornell. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"  
Fornell frowns. "I'm not in the mood Jethro. This is serious."  
Gibbs sips his coffee. "Serious you say. Then how may I help the FBI today?"  
Fornell looks around the room. "This is sensitive. Our usual conference room?"  
"After you". The two men stride into the elevator and Fornell flicks the emergency stop switch.  
There's an uncomfortable silence. "Well Fornell?"  
"I'm here to speak to your autopsy assistant. Mr James Palmer."  
"Jimmy? What on earth could the FBI want with Jimmy?"  
"I'm not at liberty to divulge that information Jethro."  
"Oh come on Fornell. You have to give me something or I'm not giving you Palmer."  
"Last night one of my agents was severely assaulted and he identified Palmer as his assailant."  
"Palmer? There must be some kind of mistake. Let me talk to the boy."  
Fornell thinks a moment. "That might be the best approach. As you can understand my team is very angry about the matter."  
"I'll see what I can find out."  
"Appreciate it Jethro."

NCIS - Elevator. A short time later.

"So Palmer what the hell is going on?"  
"Agent Gibbs...I don't know what you mean" Palmer stutters.  
"You with a black eye, an assaulted FBI agent... ring any bells Palmer?"  
"Oh" Jimmy stares at the floor.  
"I can't help you Palmer if I don't know what's happening."  
Jimmy looks up to find Gibbs staring at him.  
"Well you see sir ah Agent Gibbs it's like this...."

NCIS Squad Room - A short time later.

Gibbs crosses the squad room smiling.  
"What's the story Gibbs?"  
"It was self defence."  
"Come off it Gibbs you'll need more than that."  
"Your agent attacked Palmer outside a nightclub and I had Abby enhance the images from the club's security cameras that clearly show your agent attacking Jimmy first. He was simply responding to the threat."  
"And why would one of my agents want to attack your assistant?"  
"Because he's the brother of our Agent Lee and doesn't like the fact she and Jimmy are..."  
"Are what Gibbs?" Gibbs just stares at Fornell and doesn't answer the question.  
"Oh! I'll have a talk to him and see about getting the charges dropped."  
"Thanks Tobias."  
"You're quite welcome Jethro."

* * *

_Rule 12 - Never date a co-worker.  
Enigma.  
_


	4. Chapter 4

NCIS Squad Room – 2:00am.

In walks Abby dressed in overalls, tool belt and hard hat and carrying a ladder. Behind her walks McGee staggering under the weight of three large boxes which he adds to the pile in the centre of the room.  
"Phew. I think that's the lot" McGee goes to sit at his desk.  
"What do you think you're doing?" Abby starts to put up the ladder.  
"Sitting down" he replies hopefully.  
"Timmy! You said you'd help."  
"I have."  
"That was just stage one. Now we move onto stage two."  
"I don't know Abby are you sure about this? There's bound to be rules, regulations, guidelines we should be following. Did you speak to anyone about this? Gibbs"  
"Gibbs?"  
"O.K. maybe not Gibbs but what about the Director? Did you ask permission?"  
"Permission, shhmmmermission. I'll do it and they'll love it. Now let's get to work."  
"Yes ma'am" he mutters under his breath.

NCIS Squad Room - A few hours later.

As the NCIS staff arrive for work they all smile as they discover the squad room had been transformed into a Christmas wonderland. Tinsel is wound around the balcony and stair railings, snowflakes dangle from the ceiling; miniature santas, snowmen and elves cover every available space and there is even some strategically place mistletoe above the entrance to the elevator. In one corner is a Christmas tree with a pile of presents below. As Gibbs' team compliments Abby on the effort and teases McGee about being her Christmas elf Gibbs enters the room.

"What the hell! This is a federal workplace not the front window at Macy's! Who did this?" he asks glaring. Abby sticks up her hand.  
"Yes, Abby?"  
"Cheer up Scrooge. Everyone's been working so hard lately I thought with Christmas a week away it might cheer everyone up." They stare at each other neither about to back down. McGee bites his lip nervously anticipating the telling off he is sure they are about to get. Gibbs' phone rings.  
"Gibbs." He listens. "On our way." He hangs up.  
"Gear up. A dead marine has been found on the Yellow Brick road at Quantico. McGee call Ducky. Tony gas the truck."  
"Yellow Brick road?" "The obstacle course Ziva" explains Tony. "Let's roll."  
The agents gather up their gear and head to the elevator. Gibbs kisses Abby on the cheek in passing.  
"It can stay. Good job Abs."

_Rule 18 - It is better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. Silver War._


	5. Chapter 5

Gibbs looks down from the balcony into the squad room observing his team sharing a lunchtime pizza and laughing at something. He is pleased to hear the laughter as there had been little cause for it in the three weeks since he had given them the news. The team had been spending more time together than usual seeking comfort in each others presence. Ziva had cooked dinner for them a couple of times and when she'd heard there wasn't going to be a funeral Abby had organized a memorial service that was held in a room filled to capacity.

"What are you thinking Jethro?" Gibbs turns to see Jenny standing beside him.  
"That I wish they didn't have to go through this."  
"Aw Jethro you can't protect them from everything. You couldn't have done anything else. It was a nice service" Jenny responds with a small smile.  
"Yes. She insisted and I couldn't really stop her" Gibbs replies remembering.  
Abby had spoken of a colleague and friend she respected to whom she could always turn for advice or to bounce ideas off, McGee of things he'd learnt both professional and personal; Ziva of the welcome she'd been given to NCIS being made to feel at home though far from her homeland. Jenny had spoken of service and dedication far beyond the following of a job description but because of the circumstances Gibbs hadn't felt able to add any words of his own. Jenny was right he mused. Abby had made sure it was a fitting farewell for Ducky.

Although not totally unexpected because of his age the news had still come as a shock to the team since they had sent Ducky off to a conference in Chicago showing no obvious signs of ill health. A few days later Gibbs had called them together to inform them he had died of a massive coronary in his hotel room. Gibbs walks down the stairs to join his team.

Director's Office - The next morning.

"I just got a call from Fornell." She smiles at him. "Don't make me ask Jen."  
"They caught him trying to board a flight to the Seychelles." Gibbs grins.  
"I'll make an announcement later today but do you want me to tell the team first?"  
"No Jen. Thanks but I really think I should."  
As he waits for the elevator he wonders how the team will react to the news. David, DiNozzo and McGee would be angry but they were agents and should understand fairly quickly but Abby would be a whole different story. "Ah hell" he mutters under his breath entering the elevator.

Conference Room - A very short time later.

"The FBI has just informed us that they have recaptured a prisoner that escaped three weeks ago."  
"Is there some connection to NCIS Boss?"  
"You think DiNozzo!"  
"Of course why else would you be telling us." Gibbs glares at him.  
"As I was saying this prisoner escaped and information led the FBI to believe he was coming after those he believed were responsible for his incarceration. This included members of his family, law enforcement and the medical examiner who testified as to the injuries his victims sustained. His most likely targets had to be placed in protective custody until he was recaptured."  
"Three weeks" murmurs McGee.  
"Medical examiner" murmurs Ziva.  
"Protective custody" murmurs Tony. Four sets of eyes light up as they realise what Gibbs is saying.  
"You mean Ducky's alive!" exclaims Abby looking angry and stunned.  
"Yes. He'll be back tomorrow." Abby turns toward the door.  
"Abs! Where are you going?"  
"I understand. I don't like it but I understand. Now if you'll excuse me I have a welcome home party to organize." They all smile.

NCIS Squad Room - That afternoon.

Gibbs phone rings. "Gibbs." He listens. "Got it Jen. I'll go now."  
The team exchange glances surprised to hear a much gentler tone than he usually uses when speaking to the Director. "Boss?"  
"I'll be gone awhile." He leaves before they have time to ask more questions. He stops by Abby's lab to explain the situation. "Will you come with me?" "Yes."

City Morgue.

The attendant pulls back the sheet over the corpse. "Oh Gibbs" Abby buries her face in her hands.  
"It's him."  
"I'm sorry sir you need to say the name. It's protocol."  
"Dr Donald Mallard."  
"Thank you sir. Would you like a moment alone?" "Yes." The attendant leaves and the only sound is Abby's sobs.  
"The last few weeks...the stress...too much."  
"Yes. Abs could you" "Of course." Abby hugs him and leaves.  
Gibbs stands a long moment remembering. "Goodbye old friend" he pulls the sheet up and leaves.

_Rule 3 - Don't believe what you're told. Double Check.  
Yankee White._


	6. Chapter 6

NCIS Evidence Garage.

Tony is leaning on the back of the truck with Ziva holding his hands in hers.  
"Oh Tony why" before she can say anything else she is interrupted by the ping of the elevator from which McGee steps holding a cup of coffee. She continues to hold Tony's hands.

"Brought you some coffee and Ducky said he'd be down in a minute."  
"And how am I going to drink it p…pp…ppp….probie?" asks Tony holding up his hands.  
"Well maybe I could hold it and you could"  
"I don't think so Probie!!" Tony glares.  
"It's not his fault Tony. You stayed all night looking for those weapons. Why do you always have to be so nacho?"  
"Macho Ziva." Tim and Tony correct automatically.  
"Well why do you?"  
"Just doing my job Officer David. Just doing my job."  
"But you really should have"

The elevator doors open and Ducky steps out.  
"Come on Anthony show me your hands. This reminds me of a time when"  
"Ducky! Is this really the time?"  
"Sorry. It looks like you have some mild frost nip. Should come right in a few hours. You know you really should"  
"Wear gloves at a crime scene" Ziva and Tim finish for him.

_Rule 2 – Always wear gloves at a crime scene. Yankee White._


	7. Chapter 7

Abby's Lab.

Abby spins around on her chair. "Come on you guys it'll be fun." The others stare at her the doubt plainly written on their faces.  
"I don't know Abby this is serious" Ziva states solemnly.  
"I'm sure I can get the guy to do it. I think he has a crush on me."  
"A crush?" "You have a problem with that Timmy?" He cowers away from her glare.  
"No. No problem with that at all."  
"So you and Ziva need to make sure we're not disturbed while we're doing it. Then Tony makes sure everyone knows we've done it and of course provides a distraction at the crucial time."  
"You know Abby as Senior Field Agent I really think this might be too dangerous."  
"Nothing bad is going to happen."  
"But what if it does?" McGee questions nervously.  
"I'll take the consequences then. So who's in?" Abby slams her hand on the desk.  
"What's life without a little risk?" Ziva places her hand atop Abby's.  
"You'll need me for the distraction phase" adds Tony placing his hand atop Ziva's.  
"I don't know guys. What if...." "Probie!" "Oh O.K." McGee places his hand atop Tony's.  
"Now listen up men" Abby glances at Ziva. "Now listen up team. You know your jobs. Don't let me down." Smiling the agents return to work.

NCIS - The next day.

Tony finds Gibbs at the vending machine punching in the numbers for his morning coffee. "Hey Boss I need you to sign this before I send it up to the Director."  
"This couldn't wait until I was back upstairs?" he asks glancing over the folders contents.  
"The Director wanted to look at the revisions before the meeting. I think the time got changed."  
Gibbs holds the folder against the wall and signs. He hands to folder to Tony in exchange for cup DiNozzo has removed from the machine. "Thanks Boss."

As they walk into the squad room Gibbs is puzzled to see Jimmy and Abby talking with Tim and Ziva by her desk. It was most unusual for the two them to be upstairs this early in the day unless there was a case on. He doesn't notice the team turning to look at him as he raises his cup and takes a long swig. Gibbs promptly removes the top of the cup and spits the mouthful back in.  
"What the hell?" He observes the team watching him and glares. "What was that?"  
Abby smiles sweetly. "Did someone do something to you coffee Gibbs?"  
He continues to glare. "Happy April Fools Day Bossman."  
"Someone must have adjusted the buttons on the vending machine. I think that swill was tea. Abs was it you?"  
"No. I haven't had time. McGee came over last night to help me upgrade my system, then we played some games almost all night so I overslept and then my hearse wouldn't start so I barely made it to work on time this morning and...."  
"Abs!" There is a long pause.  
"I can't lie to you Gibbs. Yes, I confess it was me who got the guy to reset the buttons. What's my punishment going to be?" she grins wickedly. The team holds their breath waiting for Gibbs' verdict on Abby's prank. To their collective astonishment he laughs heartily.  
"What don't you think I have a sense of humor?" They stare at him.  
"I'm going for a replacement. Now get back to work." "Yes Boss."  
As he passes Abby he asks "Can I get you a Caf-Pow?"  
"Yes please" she responds eagerly not suspecting what he has in mind.

_Rule 23 - Never mess with a marines coffee if you want to live. Marine in Forced Entry  
and  
Rule 7 - Always be specific when you lie. Reveille._

Author's Note - I was planning on sticking to rules spoken by or to Gibbs but Rule 23 just had too much story potential to ignore!


	8. Chapter 8

Abby walks into her lab to find a vase of black roses on her desk. The florist's card reads Thank You and the reverse For Everything, Gibbs. Hearing the elevator ping she turns to find Gibbs entering the lab.

"I know you know it's not my birthday and I don't recall anything I've done to deserve a thank you so why?"  
Gibbs looks slightly embarrassed and not his usual confident self.  
"Recent events have reminded me....how quickly things can change....how just because someone is there one day it doesn't mean they'll be there the next...."  
"Gibbs?"  
"You are always here. Working hard, providing answers, taking care of me and the team, being a friend. I don't ever want to take that fact for granted so this is just a small token of thanks for all you do." He kisses her on the cheek and exits the lab leaving behind a stunned and pleased Abby.

_Rule 8 - Never take anything for granted. Probie._


	9. Chapter 9

McGee is standing on a beach staring down at the corpse lying on the tarpaulin at his feet. Apart from the victim's head with the gunshot wound to the temple clearly visible the rest of the body is bound tightly in a fishing net that is being held in place with fishing line.

"What's the hold up Probie?" Tony asks appearing beside him.  
"Gibbs and Ducky said once the photos and sketches were done I could cut the line and net free so we could remove whatever is weighing it down to make it easier to transport the lot to NCIS."  
"So?"  
"So Tony the stuff is proving harder to remove than some of your ex-girlfriends. I am making no headway with this at all." McGee holds up his knife.  
"Never fear McGee. It's DiNozzo to the rescue. In the words of Crocodile Dundee" Tony continues in a bad impression of an Australian accent "That's not a knife." He takes out and holds up his own much bigger knife. "_That'_s a knife."  
Switching back to his normal voice "Step aside Probie and let the Senior Field Agent show you how it's done."

_Rule - 9. Never go anywhere without a knife. One Shot, One Kill._

DiNozzo:"Ya know. Those rules they teach you guys in the marine corps."  
Atlas:"What rules?"  
DiNozzo:"Huh. I always suspected Gibbs was making that stuff up." Missing.


	10. Chapter 10

Ziva's Apartment.

"A little to the left I think Tony." He moves.  
"A little I said."  
"That was a little!" he responds indignantly.  
"Mmmm. Maybe a little further...."  
"I've never known anyone to give such detailed instructions for...."  
"Ahhh that's perfect. Now what were you saying?"  
"I said Zee-vah that I've never known anyone to be as....precise as you in these matters."  
"Well Tony I know exactly what I want and I'm not afraid to ask for it. McGee had no problem with it."  
"You did this with Probie?" he asks astonished.  
"Yes, he was wonderful. With a little help from Palmer too. Jimmy has such delicate fingers."  
Tony grins knowing now that she must be teasing.  
"I'll have to lift my game then. What if I press here?"  
"Try pushing harder."  
"I am pushing as hard as I can Zee-vah! These things aren't meant to be forced you know."  
"Ouch! What the hell was that Tony?"  
"Sorry. I dropped the screw. Anyway, I don't think you are meant to be underneath when someone is trying to screw one of these in. Maybe we should take a break and call for some pizza or some professionals. After all we are federal agents not furniture installers."  
"Yeah, you're right Tony. I just didn't think it would be this difficult. Thanks for trying to help. I'll call for the pizza. What would you like?"

Rule 1 - _Never screw __over __your partner. Blowback._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 has been re-written and is now chapter 8 of Queen of the Lab.


	12. Chapter 12

This scene is set a few nights after Gibbs apologizes to Ducky in the episode Smoked.

Ducky's House.

Sitting by a blazing fire with a glass of bourbon in one hand and absently patting a corgi with the other Gibbs asks "So Ducky how is my team?"  
"Oh Jethro I'm not sure you want to"  
"Yes I do Duck just tell me."  
"Well they were all pretty shattered for awhile but they were there for each other which I'm sure helped. Luckily we've had quite a few cases to keep us busy. Tony stepped up as you thought he would. The Director has had him working on some special project for her too. I wouldn't be surprised if she offers him a team of his own very soon."  
"It's about time." Gibbs would be sad to let DiNozzo go but knew it was the right thing for him.

"Ziva?"  
"That I've no idea. She doesn't give much away but she came down to Autopsy for tea a few times and her driving only got worse for a couple of weeks. It took longer for her to adjust to Tony as team leader and there were a couple of close calls but I kept the paperclips away from her and eventually she seemed to get used to the idea."  
Gibbs raise his eyebrows at Ducky's rare attempt at humor with the paperclip comment.

"McGee of course was fine and Tony even started to ease up on the teasing after he made a crucial breakthrough in the Oliver case. "  
"What about Abby Duck? I can't believe the stunt she pulled with the handcuffs."  
Ducky smiles.  
"I heard about that. She was distraught of course. Like the rest of us the poor girl had been so scared you were going to die, then worried about your memory returning and then when it appeared everything was O.K. you walked away...You know how tough our dear Abby is though don't you Jethro? After a few days with no music,no hugs and no smiles when I'm sure Bert nearly had the stuffing squeezed out of him she put those pictures on her monitors, put on a big smile and got back to work. She never mentioned your name and any pain she was feeling she didn't share with us."  
"Do you think I can make this right Duck?"  
"I honestly don't know Jethro. Only time will tell".  
The two men stare into the dying embers of the fire.

_Rule 4 - The best way to keep a secret. Keep it to yourself.  
Second best. Tell one other person - if you must.  
There is no third best. Blowback._


	13. Chapter 13

They had made love silently but not allowing the confined space to restrict their passion. They had been together so many times before that they did not need words they just allowed their bodies to communicate their desire for each other. Now Ziva lay snuggled against Tony's chest as the the dawn light began to fill the cabin.

"You know Tony" she whispers "this reminds me of my first time."  
He thinks a moment and then remembers the conversation.  
"Yes, I've been meaning to ask you about that _Officer _David. What exactly were you doing on that weapons carrier anyway?"  
"Well I was...." Ziva trails off as she hears movement from the bunk below.  
"Hey guys you awake yet? Those new seasickness pills Ducky gave me worked a treat. No nausea at all and I slept like a log. Did I miss anything?"  
"No Probie, you missed nothing, nothing at all."

_Rule 1 - Never screw __over_ _your partner. Blowback._

Dear Readers,  
I need your help! If anyone can think of a twist for the other Rule 1 (never let suspects stay together) please let me know then I can complete the Rules up to Season 4. Thanks, Gail.


	14. Chapter 14

NCIS Squad Room.

"Clearly_ I _should go first."  
"Why?"  
"I am the Senior Field Agent McJunior."  
"But this assignment requires a particular set of skills Tony. I think _I _am much more unflippable than either you or McGee" Ziva interrupts. Tony and Tim look puzzled.  
"The agent who is first must have a cool head, be calm and go about the task without reacting. Unflippable, yes?"  
"Unflappable Zee-vah. Unflappable and I think I can be just as unflappable as you." Tony turns to Tim for support just in time to see him smirk which he quickly tries to hide.  
"Ouch!" Tim rubs the back of his head. "You know Tony I think she may have a point. After all we do know the person who will be leading the counter-attack thanks to Abby accessing that file and you do have a history with him."  
"And you think just because I have a history with the devil spawn I am going to make this personal?" Tony glares at Tim.  
"Yes....no...I mean...."  
"Careful Probie or I'll have a word to Ducky about revoking your medical clearance to undertake this mission." Tony grins.  
"No! Tony you can't. I've been in training for months. You wouldn't...."  
"Relax McAnxious; I was teasing. Of course we need everyone for this. We won't let them get away with it again."  
"If we could get back to the original question" Ziva says exasperatedly.  
"What was that Ziva?"  
"Who goes first?"  
"Well as I was saying.." "But Tony.." "Ziva has.." A loud whistle cuts them off as Gibbs enters.

"Listen up. This is no time for petty squabbles. These guys have been getting away with this for too long and now it's our turn. If we get this wrong the CIA steps in and you know how I feel about that. Don't let me down."  
"So, no pressure then Boss."  
"You think DiNozzo! Stop by Abby's lab on the way out. She has some new gloves for you."  
The agents groan.  
"Hey! It probably won't make a difference but if it makes her feel happier to contribute something we accept with a smile" he orders.  
"Yes Boss" his agents reply chastened.

They leave the squad room each starting to focus on their role in the task ahead not wanting to let the team down. The tug-of-war was the main event of the highly competitive annual inter-agency sports day and NCIS was determined to beat the FBI especially since Agents Sacks was leading the FBI team.

_Rule 15 - Always work as a team. Leap of Faith._


	15. Chapter 15

NCIS Squad Room.

"That will be your priority today McGee."  
"But Boss I...." Although there was not an active case to he had plenty of other work to be doing and he _really_ did not want this assignment. Gibbs just glares at him.  
"On it Boss." Tim returns to his desk making a mental list of the tasks to undertake. He begins to compile the information he'll need.  
"Well. Well. Well. Our little probie is growing up. Do you feel up to it McJunior?"  
As Tim looks up at Tony standing in front of him he notices Gibbs has left the room.  
"What do you mean? Surely this isn't _that_ important?"  
Tony and Ziva exchange smiles across the room.  
"Is it?"  
"In the grand scheme of things no. For you and your future as an NCIS special agent, yes. The Boss is testing you probie."  
"Not to worry. I'm sure I'll be fine." McGee tries to inject a tone of confidence in his voice but doesn't quite succeed.  
"Sure you will probie." Tony pats him on the shoulder before returning to his desk.  
_I will be fine_ Tim thinks to himself. The Boss wouldn't give it to me if he didn't think I could handle it. He gets back to work feeling slightly more confident of his ability to meet the challenge Gibbs had set.

NCIS Squad Room. Several hours later.

_I am screwed. I am so, so screwed. There's no way I can take this to the Boss. What the hell am I going to do?_

He had his suspects but no evidence and with no evidence there was no way to prove their guilt or to influence them to confess. Despite the early hour the incident had occurred there had been some witnesses but all had been reluctant to co-operate and vague when they finally did. It was almost as if they had been threatened and thinking about it they probably had. Or maybe they were keeping quiet out of loyalty. One of the suspects was definitely the 'lovable rogue' type who might inspire people to lie out of friendship.

According to Abby the surveillance footage was almost useless with some type of interference affecting the recording at the critical time. She was attempting to clean it up so he decided to check on her progress.

Abby's Lab.

"Got anything Abby?"  
"No. I told you I'd call if I did."  
"Sorry."  
"That's O.K. It's good practice for me. Why are you pushing so hard on this?"  
"Tony says the Boss is testing me so I have to come up with something."  
"What if you just say you tried your best and came up with nothing?"  
"Do you think that will work?" he questions hopefully.  
"No."  
"Thanks anyway." He starts to leave and then turns back.  
"I came by to drop that file off to you this morning but you weren't here although your hearse was in the lot. What were you doing here so early?"  
"Ziva and I were in the gym. She's teaching me some self defence moves."  
"Cool." Tim leaves passing Ziva as she enters the lab.  
"Ziva I am so glad you're here. We need to talk."

NCIS Squad Room. A little later.

Having run some ideas past Tony and spoken to Ziva he was still no further forward but more certain than ever about his suspects. Maybe it was time to shake things up. Think outside the box. He'd need the Boss's permission but he was sure Gibbs would approve.

NCIS Interrogation Room.

McGee is sitting at the table with his back to the observation room and one of his suspects sitting opposite him. So far neither of them has said a single word and it has been about ten minutes. This was exactly what he'd expected to happen. He checks his watch. It was time to initiate phase two. He starts to speak.

NCIS Observation Room.

Tony is watching the suspect through the glass. Abby enters the room. Her view through the mirror is blocked by the way DiNozzo standing.  
"Hey Tony here's that file you wanted. What's going on?"  
"The Boss let McGee bring in a suspect." Tony steps aside so Abby can see into the interrogation room.  
"Oh my God! I can't let this happen!"  
"Abs!" Tony is speaking to air as she's already rushed from the room.

NCIS Interrogation Room.

Abby barges in. "Stop this. You have to stop this right now."  
"Abs!"  
"I can't let you do this. You can't interrogate her. It wasn't her fault."  
"It's O.K. Abby." Ziva smiles up at her.  
"But it was my fault. When the gym was closed I suggested we practice in the squad room. I suggested we lie to Tim and well...it was me that did it."  
"Did what Abby?" he asks trying not to look too pleased at her admission of guilt.  
"I spilled Gibbs coffee O.K.? I got a bit carried away with defending myself and I kicked it off his desk."  
It had happened exactly as Tim had surmised and he knew the Boss would be pleased at the result.

_Rule 23 - Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live. Marine in Forced Entry_.


	16. Chapter 16

Gibbs enters the squad room and looks around glaring at the empty desks. Although there was not an active case David, DiNozzo and McGee all had other tasks they should have been sitting at their desks and doing. It was nowhere near lunchtime and so this was where he had expected them to be. After checking his desk and phone and finding no message from his missing agents he decides to head down to Abby's lab to check on some information with her.

Stepping from the elevator he is surprised to find Tony blocking the entrance to the lab.

"DiNozzo why aren't you upstairs and where's Tim and Ziva? Why have you completely disregarded my instructions? What's going on?"

"Well you see Boss it's like this....that is...." Tony steps aside so that Gibbs can see into the lab. McGee is crawling around examining the floor and Ziva is sitting on the chair in Abby's office with Abby patting her on the shoulder. Seeing Gibbs she crosses the room to them.

"Boss. The most awful thing has happened but we are on the case. We will have this solved soon. I promise."

"Abs!"

"Ziva's lost her necklace Bossman. You know the one she always wears. We're searching everywhere she's been today." Abby lowers her voice."It belonged to her sister Gibbs. We have to find it."

"Of course we do. McGee, DiNozzo!"

"Yes Boss."

"Yes."

"This is your priority until it is found."

"On it Boss" they reply simultaneously. He walks into Abby's office.

"Ziva. You go back to your paperwork and leave this one to us."

"But..."

"Go on Officer David." Abby hugs her and Ziva leaves.

"Right Abby where do I start?"

Abby grins at him. With the whole team on the case the necklace would be found in no time.

_Rule 15 - Always work as a team. Leap of Faith.

* * *

_

A/N - This series started out as three one-shots and a challenge to myself to get over some "creative stifling" so I just wrote and posted without checking too carefully for errors. Sorry! The reviews for chapter 14 don't line up with the stories as the old chapter 14 of this series is now story 2 in Absolutely Abby. Gail.


	17. Chapter 17

"What the hell is going on here" Gibbs barks as he stares down from the stairs at the disarray in the squad room and tries to decide who to head slap first. At his desk McGee is holding a bloody handkerchief to his nose in an ineffectual attempt to stem the blood flowing from it as Abby pats his shoulder. DiNozzo is seated at his desk as Ducky examines his face. In the middle of the room Ziva is kneeling on the back of someone to handcuff him whilst glaring at another male who is standing there already handcuffed. As Ziva hauls the first guy to his feet Gibbs grins recognizing him and beginning to realise what might have happened.

"Ducky?"

"Yes Jethro?"

"Will he live?"

"He'll have some bruising but nothing serious."

"Abs what about McGee?"

"He'll be fine."

"Ziva would like to explain what's going on?"

"These two" she indicates the handcuffed men with a wave of her hand "began to argue quite heatedly. It seems they have a past..."

"A history Zee-vah. A history" DiNozzo mutters sulkily. She ignores him.

"They have a _past _and when it started to turn physical we stepped in and those two" she grins at DiNozzo and McGee got in the way of their fists."

"O.K. Charge them and put them in interrogation then get this mess cleaned up." He starts up the stairs and then looks back.

"Hey DiNozzo"

"Yes Boss."

"That's what you get for breaking rule thirteen." Gibbs heads up to MTAC.

"Rule thirteen?" questions Ziva and her colleagues respond simultaneously

"Never, ever involve lawyers it just gets messy."

Looking around the squad room she nods "I have to agree."

_Rule 13 - Never, ever involve lawyers. Collateral Damage._


	18. Chapter 18

"What if I bend down and....?"

"Ouch! Zee-vah! That is not the way to do this."

"There is a right way to do this?"

"Yes. You need to...."

"And what makes you such an expert Tony?"

He grins at her. "Well I have done this a few times you know and practice makes perfect."

She rolls her eyes. "O.K. What do you suggest?"

"You need to turn that way and then I can...."

"Tony! That really hurt!"

"Sorry. Maybe I should twist...." his voice trails off as he pauses to think.

"This was meant to be fun."

"No, Ziva. It was meant to help us become closer."

"Listen you guys I don't want to be here _all _day so can you shut up a minute and let me think?"

"Sorry Abs. I forgot we've an expert in hinky situations right on hand."

She glares at him. "DiNozzo! Just be glad I can't touch you right now or I'd be making a Gibbs slap look like a gentle tap. Do be quiet." For a couple of minutes the only noise is the sound of their breathing. "Alright. If I move like this." She moves. "And Tony you move that way." She indicates with her head and he does. "Then Ziva can...."

"Oh, I get it." Ziva moves.

"Well done Abs. Now we only need to sort out...."

"Would you_ please_ shut up Tony and just do what she says."

"Who asked you probie?" Tony glares at the junior agent.

"I do not want to be attached to you any longer than necessary Tony and I'm sure you feel the same way about me. So far Abby is the only one with any idea how to sort this out so I think we should listen to her."

"Me too. Besides Tony this is all your fault." Ziva glares at him.

"Why is that Officer David?"

"If the Director had not heard you whinging I doubt she would have insisted on us doing this again until we got it right."

"Hmm. What now Abby?"

"McGee needs to go through...."

"Hey guys I've got it!"

"Got what autopsy gremlin?"

"The way out of this mess. Listen up. Abby needs to....."

MTAC.

Gibbs enters and places a container of coffee next to Jenny.

"How are they doing?'

"Ziva is ready to kill Tony, Tony is ready to kill Ziva and I think Abby is ready to kill them both." She grins at him as he sits besides her and stares at the screen showing his team in action.

"So who do you think will break first?"

"No-one Jen. You gave them an order and they'll complete it or die trying." He grins.

"It is going to be fun to watch though." She smiles.

"That it is Madam Director." He leans back in his chair thinking. For a seemingly simple teamwork exercise the human knot was actually quite complex and fun to watch being unravelled.

Rule 15 - Always work as a team. Leap Of Faith.

* * *

A/N - For those who may not have attempted it the human knot simply involves a group of people closing their eyes and joining hands then working together to untangle the "knot".


	19. Chapter 19

_"How many times have I told you, he's not a toy!"_ Gibbs in Deception.

* * *

McGee steps out of the elevator and into the evidence garage his eyes widening in amazement as he observes the scene before him. A badly damaged mannequin is tied to a chair with rope and Abby is hitting it with a tyre iron. Seeing him she stops and puts it down.

"Oh goody you're here."

"What are you doing Abby?"

"Matching the injuries on the victim's body to the items you found at the warehouse and with the help of Ducky's preliminary report I am trying to establish an order the injuries occurred in. I've got some good news and some bad news Timmy."

"Abby!" His exasperated exclamation makes him sound a lot like Gibbs.

"The good news is the fibres found on the body match a specialty rope made exclusively for use by the marines when securing cargo which obviously ties in with...."

"Our main suspect who works in that area. You're a genius Abs."

"I try my best." She grins. "The bad news is it our victim was clearly tortured over a period of some time before dying."

"How can you tell?"

"Come here." She unties the dummy and tosses it to one side. "Sit down." He does and she begins to tie him firmly to the seat.

"Ah Abby what are you doing?"

"I could just tell you what I found but that's no fun so I'll show you." Tim looks panicked.

"Don't worry I won't actually hit you. First he was drugged so he wouldn't resist. The he was bound to the chair using rope. His arms were twisted back like this...." She pulls his arms behind the chair and ties them together. Then after he came round he was punched several times." She draws back her arm.

"Abby!"

"Just kidding. He was also burned with cigarettes and at some point hit in the stomach with a tyre iron. They must've really wanted whatever info this guy had."

"Yeah. Gibbs thinks.." he is cut off by the ringing of Abby's phone.

"Speak." She listens. "O.K. I'm on my way." She flips the phone shut. "The others are back and waiting in the lab." She rushes to the elevator and boards ignoring the calls from behind her. That would teach him not to mock her investigative methods.

"Abby! Abby!" He sighs as he begins to struggle with his bonds the thought of what DiNozzo would say if he found him like this spurring him on. If only he'd remembered to carry his knife he'd have been free in no time at all.

Rule 9 - Never go anywhere without a knife. One Shot, One Kill & Missing.


	20. Chapter 20

*This is a extension of the previous chapter so you might like to read that first.*

A PROBIE IS NOT A TOY.

(And he's not just for Christmas either!)

Abby's Lab.

"It's thin Abs."

"But isn't it enough to bring him in for further questioning?" She glares at Gibbs.

"Yes. David find..."

"His current location so we can bring him in and put out a BOLO for his car." Ziva leaves.

"DiNozzo...."

"Work with Abby to find out if there is anything else to link him to the crime scene and our victim. I'm on it Boss."

"Good job Abs." Gibbs kisses her on the cheek then leaves.

"That was some inspired forensics Abby."

"Thanks." A bell pings. "Looks like Major Mass Spec has got something. Can you go down to the evidence garage and bring up the rest of the boxes of stuff found at the house while I see what my baby's got?"

"Sure." He leaves and boards the elevator.

NCIS Evidence Garage.

As he steps from the elevator Tony's eyes widen in astonishment as he observes the room before him. Tim is bound tightly to a swivel chair by some rope.

"Well, well, well...what have we here? What are you doing McGee?"

"Tony, I am _so_ glad to see you."

"Not as glad as I am to see you like this." Tony grins and takes a photo with his phone.

"Hey! Could you please help me untie me?"

"Not until you explain how you got like this in the first place." DiNozzo walks behind Tim and begins to swing the chair back and forth.

"Would you stop that!"

"Make me."

"O.K. O.K. I'll tell you how I got like this." Tony stops the chair and walks in front of McGee who is now looking slightly green. "Abby was trying to match the victims injuries to the weapons found at the scene by using a mannequin and she wanted to demonstrate something and then I said...."

"Blah. Blah. Blah. I don't really care. Gibbs and Ziva have gone to bring in the victim's brother so they'll want to know what background you've found." As he talks DiNozzo is undoing the rope.

"Thanks. I'd better get back upstairs." Tim walks to the elevator then looks back over his shoulder.

"Hey Tony."

"Yeah?"

"You won't tell the others about this will you?"

"That depends probie."

"On what?" McGee steps into the elevator.

"How I feel." He grins at McGee's stricken face as the doors close then he emails the photo he took to Ziva and Abby.

NCIS Squad Room.

As Tim steps from the elevator he makes a firm vow to himself never to question Abby again.


	21. Chapter 21

Gibbs' House. Very late one evening.

Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear Jenny smiles at Gibbs beneath her and is pleased when he smiles back. That little smile of if not happiness then contentment that he shows so rarely. She likes to see that smile and so when he'd suggested the evening's activity she'd agreed trying at the same time to forget all the reasons it would not be a good idea them spending time together. The very long list of reasons she'd had to remind herself of almost daily since becoming Director. She had made her choices and was determined to move forward without regrets.

Though it had been awhile since they had done this they had quickly fallen into their old rhythms working so well together as they had done almost since the day they met. There was barely any noise in the room just the occasional murmured direction and the movement of their bodies. She'd worked up a light sweat but was reluctant to leave even for a moment to grab a cold drink as she was enjoying having his eyes gazing at her in approval and not just the respect he was always careful to display in the office. This evening was an interlude in their everyday lives when they could stop for a moment from being NCIS Director Shepard and Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs and just be Jenny and Jethro again.

"Ouch!" His voice breaks into her thoughts.  
"Oh, I'm so sorry Jethro. Let me take a look at it." She steps down from box which she has been using to reach over the boat frame and walks towards where he is sitting within it holding his eye.  
"It's nothing Jen but do try and hold onto those screws next time will you. I don't think you're supposed to drop them in people's eyes!" He grins at her and she grins back. Working on the boat together was proving to be a great way to get their relationship back on track after her return.

Rule 1 - Never screw _over _your partner. Blowback

* * *

A/N - I beg my readers indulgence for a repeated idea but as this fic. has now been  
going for a year I wanted to finally write the story idea that started it all!


	22. Chapter 22

NCIS Elevator. Mid morning.

Jimmy steps in and finds Tony already there.  
"Hey there autopsy gremlin."  
"Hi Tony. Where were you at lunch yesterday? Abby got pizza."  
Tony grins suggestively. "Never you mind you mind."  
The elevator stops and as Jimmy exits Ziva steps in. Tony flicks the stop switch.  
"Well that was kinda odd."  
"What?"  
"Jimmy was just asking where I was at lunch yesterday"  
"Oh, do you think he knows?"  
DiNozzo looks startled. "Knows? How could he possibly know? Anyway just make sure you have a good answer in case he asks where you were, O.K.?"  
"O.K." She flicks the switch and the elevator begins to move.

Autopsy. A little while later.

"Gibbs sent me down for the Thomas autopsy report. He's _misfiled_ his."  
"Misfiled or lost?"  
She grins at him as he hands her the report. "I do not ask Jimmy."  
"By the way where were you at lunch yesterday? Abby got pizza and we looked everywhere for you."  
"In MTAC with the Director. Sorry I missed it." She leaves.

Abby's Lab. A short time later.

As Jimmy walks in Abby and Tim immediately move to stand together in front of her desk.

"Hey guys what ya doing?"  
"Nothing" they respond simultaneously both trying and failing to look innocent.  
"I'm looking for the doc's medical bag. You haven't seen it have you?"  
"No."  
"Nope."  
"Are you sure? I think the doc is going to kill me if we have to submit an application to replace it. I've looked everywhere he leaves it and the places I could have left it and it's nowhere."  
"It's O.K. Jimmy I'm sure it will turn up." Abby loops her arms through his and walks him to the doorway of the lab. "Now go back to autopsy and don't worry." Jimmy leaves.  
"I never thought he'd be so upset by this." Abby frowns.  
"Yeah. We need to put this plan into action now." McGee looks at his watch. "I'll call the others and you launch the distraction phase in half an hour."  
"On it Boss." She grins at him and he grins back.

Autopsy. Half an hour later.

Jimmy returns from the vending machines to discover the medical bag on one of the autopsy tables. He lets out a huge sigh of relief. He still had no idea where it had been but at least now the bag was back and Dr Mallard would be pleased. He decides he should check it's contents and opens it to find a brightly wrapped parcel which he takes out. Suddenly the lights go out. "Hey! Tony is that you? This isn't funny."

The doors hiss open, the lights come back on and standing before him is the whole of team Gibbs. Abby is holding a cake.

"Surprise! Happy Birthday Jimmy. Sorry we took the bag but we had to have somewhere to hide the present. Tony and Ziva spent all their lunch hour getting it." She grins at him. As they all start to sing Jimmy smiles. This day might have started badly with the 'misplacement' of the doc's bag but this wasn't a bad way to end it, not a bad way at all.

_Rule 15 - Always work as a team. Leap of Faith._


	23. Chapter 23

A Living Room. In a house. Somewhere in D.C.

Staring down at the body on the floor DiNozzo begins to whine. "This is not fair."  
Grinning McGee responds "Oh, come on Tony. Gibbs gave you this case and appointed you team leader while he visits his Dad. What have you got to complain about?"  
"Well he gets back in a few hours and I really don't know what to do about this. I talked to him and he said he'd make some calls but he hasn't got back to me yet."  
"You do not know what to do with the body?" queries Ziva in a puzzled tone as she enters the room.  
"Of course I know what to do with the body Zee-vah! What I don't know is what to do with that" he replies gesturing at the open patio doors through which they can see the backyard.  
"Oh. You're right, that could be a problem" she muses out loud. "Surely there is some sort of authority to take care of it? Someone who can take responsibility for its removal? Can not McGee find out who and inform them?"  
McGee grins. "It's a little more complicated than that Ziva."  
"How?"  
"The petty officer has no next of kin listed in his service record and beside...that....that.....thing....has swallowed some evidence. One of the crime scene techs was trying to get a collar on it and another opened the doors. It raced in here and nudged the body and before we could grab it had swallowed a key that was under the body."  
"So someone has to look after that yappy little thing until the key is history?"  
"Until it is passed Ziva and yes." Tony rolls his eyes. "But of course McGee has Jethro and your place is too small and Ducky already has the corgis and I don't know what to do."  
"I think the answer is obvious Tony."  
"And what do you suggest McAnimal lover?"  
"Well....." McGee is interupted by the ringing of Tony's phone.  
"DiNozzo!" He listens a moment. "But Boss..." He listens again. "O.K. Boss." He hangs up.  
"I guess that settles that." Tony sighs and accepts the item Tim is holding out to him before walking towards the doors.  
"You're going to take the dog?" Ziva asks incredulously.  
"Tell her why probie one" Tony orders glaring at them.  
"Gibbs gave Tony this case."  
"So?"  
"So, Ziva" Tony holds out the item Tim handed him and dangles it back and forth. "The rule is your case, your _lead_." He walks out and promptly begins to chase the dog around the yard trying not to trip over his feet as he does so.  
'This I've got to see." Grinning his colleagues follow him out. Sometimes being the junior members of the team did have its advantages.

_Rule 38 - Your case, your lead. Bounce._


	24. Chapter 24

NCIS Squad Room. Friday Morning.

Tony is pulling items from his desk drawer and dumping them on his desk. "If I find out you had anything to do with this probie I will kill you. You know how important this weekend is to me and how hard I've worked to make everything perfect." He pauses and glares at his colleague.

McGee looks over from his desk. "I'll tell you again Tony. I do not know what you're talking about."  
"What is going on?" queries Ziva as she enters and sits at her desk.  
"Tony appears to have lost something. Something that is crucial for his big weekend but he won't tell me what it is so I can't help him look. He's been whining about it for the last twenty minutes."  
"Or more" adds Gibbs as he walks in. "Back to work."  
"Yes Boss" respond his agents Tony somewhat sulkily.

NCIS Elevator. A short time later.

Tony steps into the elevator which already contains Tim and Abby. As he does so he flicks the emergency stop switch bringing it to a halt.  
"Tony!"  
"I know you had something to do with this McThief. I saw how you looked at me when I crazy glued you to your keyboard again the other day. I'm guessing this is your idea of payback?"  
"Nnnnnooo...." stutters McGee. DiNozzo just glares at him looking oddly like Gibbs might giving the same stare. Then he turns to Abby.  
"Or maybe it was you Ms Sciuto? I don't know why you'd want to do something like that to me but maybe you were just helping your old bed buddy here...."  
Abby steps forward. "Back off Tony. I understand you're upset but that crossed the line.I'm sure your weekend will not be ruined. You're making way too much of this." She flicks the switch to start the lift moving. It stops and the doors open. Tony exits without a backward glance at either of his colleagues. The doors close.  
"Thanks Abs. I am _so_ dead if he finds out it was me."  
"It _was_ you? Why didn't you just tell him?"  
"Well you see I've been trying to fix it and...." as he continues to explain Abby nods thoughtfully.  
"I see. Well here's what we do...." as she continues to talk Tim sighs with relief. It might just work he thinks.

NCIS Squad Room. Almost the end of the day.

A phone rings. "DiNozzo." He listens. "But Abby can't McGee...Oh. O.K." He hangs up. "Abby wants me to help her move some equipment or something. If you want me I'll be down in the lab." He walks out. After waiting a few minutes McGee takes something out of his desk drawer and slips it into the pocket of Tony's suit jacket that he has left hanging over the back of his chair.

An hour or so later Tony and Abby walk into the bull pen and DiNozzo collapses into his desk chair sighing with exaggerated exhaustion. "Oh, don't be such a wimp Tony." Abby grins at Tim and Ziva who are sitting at their desks.

"That's easy for you to say Abs. It was I who did all that moving then you decided you wanted it all moved back!"  
"Sorry bout that. I just thought it might look better somewhere else but it turned out it didn't. How can I make it up to you?"  
"Hmm. Well if you found...."  
"I know. I know. How about your jacket pocket? Did you look there? It's where you're always leaving stuff and you always forget to check and I bet if you did..."  
"Abs!" Sometimes he really did sound scarily like Gibbs.  
"Just check."  
"O.K. I will." He reaches in to the pocket and with a big smile pulls out the item he finds within and places it on his desk. "Abby I love you."  
"Love you too. Have a good weekend."  
"Oh, now I'm sure I will." DiNozzo responds as he pulls on his jacket, gathers his stuff, picks up the item off his desk and leaves. As the elevator doors close behind him Abby and Tim exchange a high five watched by a puzzled Ziva.

"Yeah. We pulled it off. What a team!"  
"Thanks Abby. I couldn't have done it without you.  
"I do not understand." Ziva walks over to them. "What is going on?"  
"I broke them Ziva. Broke them."  
"So?"  
"Tony would kill me if he found out so I got a replacement pair. Hopefully he'll never know the difference. I've been trying to get them somewhere I could suggest he look to find them but he wouldn't go away."  
"Then when he yelled at Tim in the lift and then left us there I found out what was going on and offered to help."  
"Getting him to move your equipment. Sneaky."  
"Thanks. So then all McGee had to do was slip the new ones in Tony's jacket pocket to be found at my suggestion."  
"But all this over a pair of sunglasses. Could not he have just taken another pair?"  
Tim and Abby chuckle. "They are not just any sunglasses Ziva. They are...."  
"His special-lucky-women love them-can't go on spring break with his frat brothers without them sunglasses" Abby interrupts.  
"Oh, now I see." Ziva nods. It was a very DiNozzo thing.  
"Coming for pizza guys?"  
"Sure" they respond enthusiastically. They gather their things and head to the elevator.  
"We're just so lucky he forgot rule one." The doors open and they step inside.  
"That we are Abby. That we are." The doors close as they erupt into slightly hysterical laughter.

_Rule 1 - Never let suspects stay together. _Yankee White.


	25. Chapter 25

Very Late One Evening.

"You want a date?" The sound of Ziva's incredulous voice ringing out across the almost empty squad room causes McGee to pause in the shadows instead of stepping out into the bull pen. He'd been down in Abby's lab finishing off the software upgrades as a surprise for her. It had taken a little more time than he had expected and he had thought the others would've been long gone. He didn't think this was a conversation he should just walk in on.

"You want a date?" She repeats.  
"Yes, Zee-vah. That is exactly what I want." The familiar voice of the Senior Field Agent replies.  
Oh, God! thinks McGee. This is going to be interesting.  
"A date?"  
"Is that not what I just said Agent David?"  
"Hmmm." Only Ziva could make a contemplative murmur sound sexy thinks Tim.  
"And what would you do for a date Tony?" She has lowered her voice to a husky whisper that still carries clearly across the room.  
"What would I do? I'd do anything you wanted. You know how hard we've been working and Gibbs said we can't leave until this paperwork is caught up. Give me something to keep me going or something to look forward to. You know how much I want it, need it."  
"You would do anything for a date?"  
"Yes."  
"But you know what Gibbs said."  
"This is more important. You could be saving my life."  
Typical DiNozzo Tim thinks. Always the master of exaggeration.  
"Just one date?"  
There's a slight tension filled pause before he responds "You know it wouldn't stop at just one Ziva."  
"O.K. then beg."  
"Beg?"  
"You heard me Tony. If you want a date so badly then beg." There's a slight thumping noise.  
"_What_ are you doing?"  
"Begging. This is me on my knees begging you Ziva David for a date. Please Ziva. Pleeeaaassee." The sound of Ziva's laughter rings out across the room. "Oh get up Tony. You can have a date."  
"Thank you. You're a life saver." There's a noise that Tim can't identify but just as he thinks it is safe to step out from the shadows Tony speaks again.  
"So soft. So moist. So perfect."  
Oh God now I have to get out there and see what's going on Tim thinks. Giving a loud cough he steps out into the room but is puzzled to see that Tony and Ziva are not locked in an embrace as he expected but are at their desks. "Hey guy's what's up?"  
"The Boss ordered us to stay until we finished our paperwork" explains Ziva.  
"And not to eat until we do" chimes in Tony.  
"Ah."  
"Luckily Ziva had a packet of dates in her desk though she wanted me to beg before giving me one."  
"And did you?" Tony glares at him. "Forget I asked. See you in the morning." Grinning to himself at his incorrect assumption Tim leaves the room. The other two work in on in silence for a few moments.  
"Hey Ziva."  
"Yes?"  
"Are we still on for tomorrow night?"  
"Sure." They return to their paperwork both smiling in anticipation of tomorrow nights date.

Rule 12 - Never date a co-worker. Enigma.


	26. Chapter 26

TONY'S MOAS.

He sits at the end of the bar sipping his beer occasionally nodding or calling out a greeting to another patron and delaying going back to his empty apartment. This is not the bar the team frequents of a TGIF end of week or to celebrate the end of a case. Nor is it one of the many cop bars where he'd know every face and each would have a story to tell. This was just the bar near his place where he could get the odd beer, watch the game and be welcomed but not hassled by people who knew of him but didn't _know_ him.

Jeanne was working and he was not needed at work so he was at a bit of a loose end which was giving him time to do the one thing he dearly wished to avoid, think. He could've gone with McGee to cheer on Abby in some bowling competition she was in or joined Ziva in some shooting practice at the range. They had both invited him but as things had progressed with Jeanne he was finding it harder and harder to be in their company. More and more difficult to lie to them.

He'd had no problem with it at first. He'd been excited by the opportunity to lead the team through the challenges facing them after Gibbs had left. When the Director had given him the undercover assignment it had seemed a further confirmation of her approval of him. A sign he was on his way. Anthony DiNozzo, team leader and undercover agent! Then as the months had gone by and his feelings towards Jeanne had started to change and the Boss had come back it had all become so much more complicated. He really did hate lying to Gibbs. Of course the very nature of the problem meant he could not share the burden with anyone.

Today in Abby's lab her innocent words about the loss of a job, self respect or friends on a MOAS being exposed had hit a raw note; a painful place in his heart. He was starting to fear that this would not end well. It would change forever his relationship with the team and perhaps more importantly with himself. He sighs, takes a final sip of his beer, places it on the bar and leaves.

_Rule 4 - The best way to keep a secret. Keep it to yourself.__  
Second best. Tell one other person - if you must.  
There is no third best. Blowback._


	27. Chapter 27

THE MISSION.

The team has a new mission. One that will take all of their skills and ingenuity. It would be quite a challenge but this time it was for one of their own and each person was determined to do the very best he or she could to bring the mission to a successful conclusion. It was such a secret that instead of the squad room they meet in Autopsy in the early hours of the morning and Ducky has turned on the infectious autopsy warning light to ensure they are not disturbed.

"Ziva. You need to scout for the perfect location. Make sure it has everything we need. Ask around your contacts but do it quietly. Maybe someone at one of the other alphabet agencies has done this kind of thing before. Probie I'm putting you on surveillance. We need to know where the subject is 24/7, what the subject is doing and who the subject is in contact with. It is vital the subject not know we are doing this. Throw every electronic thingy we've got at it. Abby can help you."  
"On it Boss...I mean Tony" McGee responds looking flustered. DiNozzo grins.  
"Ducky I need you to come up with a pyschological profile. Go over all the information we already have and see what you can come up with. I know this will be hard but this is very important. We need the perfect..."  
"I know DiNozzo" a slightly exasperated Ducky interrupts him. "I have done this before. Why a few years ago..."  
As everyone's eyes start to glaze over Tony continues "Black Lung. You know your job right?"  
There is silence as everyone turns to Palmer. "That's you autopsy gremlin."  
"Oh, yeah. Supplies."  
"And the Director has asked me to remind you that she's in charge of communications and all contacts must be approved by her."  
"Contacts? I thought we were keeping this to ourselves."  
"Yeah but at the very least Fornell will have to be informed, maybe Lt. Colonel Mann on the army side and possibly even somebody at JAG. Any questions?"  
Abby sticks her hand in the air. "Yes Abs?"  
"Well Tony I can't help but notice everyone has a task except you."  
"I'm in charge of logistics and preparing for the unexpected challenges that might arise on a mission of this nature."  
"So you're...?"  
"Supervising Abby, supervising! After all I am..."  
"The Senior Field Agent" they all chorus and the meeting breaks up with a laugh.

A Few Days Later.

Late at night in the squad room just McGee and Gibbs are left working at their desks. Gibbs mind is starting to wander and he thinks it might be time to head home to his boat and his bourbon. Maybe call Holly and get her to bring over some food and who knew where that could lead. She appeared to have no problem with the smell of sawdust.

The phone rings and he answers. "Gibbs!" He listens a moment. "Abby?"  
McGee looks over from his desk as he hears Gibbs side of the conversation. "No you did the right thing. Just stay there and I'll come to you." McGee hits a button on his computer and is already getting his gun as Gibbs hangs up the phone. "Abby's in trouble. We need to go get her." Gibbs grabs his gun and they rush towards the elevator leaving a steaming cup of coffee slowly cooling on the corner of Gibbs desk.

As they enter a local bar all appears normal but scanning the room they see no sign of Abby. As they cross the room a bartender calls out to them. "Hey Tim are you looking for Abby?"  
"Yeah, Paul. Has she been in tonight?"  
"I was going to call her a taxi but she said she had a friend coming so I let her lie down in the back room. She was feeling a bit woozy."  
"Maybe someone spiked her drink. Where's this back room?"  
"It's over this way Boss" McGee replies leading him across the dance floor, opening a door and starting down a long corridor. He stops in front of a door. "They use it for bucks nights and the like" he continues reaching out a hand to the doorknob. Gibbs puts out an arm to stop him.  
"She called me Tim. I'm guessing she might be a little embarrassed. Let me go first." He knocks on the door . "Abby? It's Gibbs. Are you O.K.?" There is no response although he thinks he hears noise coming from beyond the door. He cautiously pushes the door open and steps into the room.

The lights come on and there in front of him raising their glasses is a group consisting of his team, Jenny, several other agents and NCIS personnel, Lt. Colonel Mann and Fornell with some agents from the FBI. Even Bert the hippo is sitting on a bar stool with a festive ribbon tied around his neck. As Gibbs starts to speak Jen leads them all in a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday. He notices that Abby has changed her outfit from earlier into a black dress that appears to be decorated with presents and skulls of course. The team had successfully completed its mission. The subject had been delivered to the location and Ducky had one hell of a birthday present waiting behind the bar.

Rule 15 - Always work as a team. Leap Of Faith.


	28. Chapter 28

She lies awake staring at the shadows on her bedroom ceiling. How is it that her life has come to this? Then again with her past it is perhaps not entirely unexpected. In a country not her own with her brother dead by her hands. With people whose lives she knows the most personal details of such as the death of Gibbs' wife and daughter but whom she does not know. It had seemed so simple as she was preparing to leave. Just another mission. Following orders as she has done her whole life. A most unusual childhood some might say but it and her father were the only ones she had.

Now several months later things were beginning to get more complicated and in a way she would never have predicted. She was starting to _like _these people. Feel a connection to them as she had not with anyone since Tali's death. Somehow they had begun to penetrate that the shell she kept around her heart for protection. To prevent her from being hurt again.

Of course Abby was still wary of her and considering the circumstances surrounding Kate's death that was perfectly natural. Jenny had been quite welcoming and it was a pleasure to work with her again. Another woman who understood precisely the way she worked. Gibbs was naturally cautious but since making the decision to welcome her into the team had appeared to fully accept her. He'd begun to teach her things such as his all important rules. McGee had been kind to her right from the start in his own geeky way. To him she was simply a new team member and that was that. She likes his puppy dogish enthusiasm for any task and the pride he has in his tech skills. DiNozzo was a goofball; basically a overgrown man child but he was fiercely loyal and a hard worker. As irritating as he could be recently she had caught herself smiling at some of his antics.

Yes, she certainly had not predicted becoming friendly with her colleagues. She did not yet know if she could turn it to her advantage and as she closes her eyes she begins to wish she had never been sent to America.

_Rule 4 - The best way to keep a secret. Keep it to yourself.__  
Second best. Tell one other person - if you must.  
There is no third best. Blowback._


	29. Chapter 29

A Hospital Room In Washington.

A miserable looking Tony is seated in a wheelchair with a small bag on his lap and staring at the doorway. Suddenly Abby rushes in babbling before she's even fully inside the room.  
"Oh, Tony I'm so sorry. The traffic was horrible and then I couldn't find a parking space for the hearse. You know the Boss will kill me if he finds out how long you had to wait. Can we keep this a secret? I mean it wasn't really my fault and what else did you have to do but..."  
"Sure Abs but can we get going now?"  
Ignoring his interruption she continues "And anyway maybe it would do you some good to sit and _think _about the trouble your actions cause." She glares at him.  
"The trouble my actions cause? Do you know all the facts here Abby?" He glares at her.  
"Yes. Despite the sore ankle you got trying to show what a big man you can be in a pick up basketball match with some much younger guys at the gym you then try and tackle a suspect instead of just interviewing like the Boss sent you to do! And in the process somehow end up breaking the other leg. I know I said I wouldn't keep going to crazy town every time one of you got injured but please Tony try and take better care of yourself O.K.?"  
"Sorry Abby but I was trying to stop the guy killing McGee you know."  
"Oh. They forgot to tell me that. Sorry. Let's get going." She walks over and pushes the wheelchair out into the hallway. As they continue along the windy hospital corridors she begins to talk again. "You'll never get up the stairs at your place or McGee's or mine and you know what happened last time you stayed with Gibbs so I'm taking you to Ducky's. I'm getting together a roster so you're not left alone and Palmer said..."  
"Abs!" he interrupts so forcefully she stops and steps around the chair and out in front of him. "I'm sure all that's not necessary."  
"Don't take that tone with me DiNozzo. We all love you and want to help." She glares at him.  
"But if you go any faster pushing this chair I'm going to fall out" he whines.  
"One more word out of you Tony and I'll call Ziva to take you home." As she begins to push the chair again she doesn't hear him mutter "Yes, ma'am" under his breath. The thought of what Ziva might do not only pushing a wheelchair but also with him in this state did not bear thinking about!

Rule 11 - When the job is done walk away. Semper Fidelis.


	30. Chapter 30

_"You got a rule for everything?"  
"Working on it. Everyone needs a code they can live by."_  
Gibbs and Shannon. Heartland.

Abby's Apartment. Saturday Lunchtime.

"He's late. He's really late." she mutters as she paces the room.  
"I know Abby but what can we do?" McGee asks looking up at her from the couch. She stops pacing and thinks a moment.  
"Call his mobile. Maybe he's stuck in traffic or there's been an accident or he got the time wrong or the day or..."  
"You know I reminded him yesterday and you did too right?"  
"Right. So it can't be that but maybe it's something else. Call him now Tim!"  
"But I called five minutes ago and it went straight to voice mail. I left a message so I'm sure he'll call when he can. It's really O.K. Abby."  
"How can you know that? We've been planning this for weeks. He knows what I'll do if he doesn't show. I have a hinky feeling about this McGee. Perhaps we should ring around the hospitals or put out a BOLO or ring Gibbs..."  
"Abby calm down."  
"I'm perfectly calm." She glares at him then laughs. "O.K. not perfectly calm but you have to admit it's a little odd."  
"Look his big date last night probably went really well and he's having trouble tearing himself away from whoever it was. He'll come rushing in here with a minute to spare and then bore us all the way to the alley with the details."  
"Hmm. You could be right and we'll miss the start of the movie of we don't leave now. How about we stop by his place on the way just to be sure he's not lying helpless in a pool of blood?"  
McGee rolls his eyes at her dramatic turn of phrase. "O.K. That's what we'll do."  
They leave her apartment and head for Tony's.

Tony's Apartment Building.

As they ascend in the elevator then start down the corridor to DiNozzo's apartment Tim begins to worry.  
"What if we're interrupting something? What if he's sleeping off a big night? Tony won't like that."  
"Well he should've called then." They pause in front of his door before Abby pounds on it with her fist. "DiNozzo! Tony! DiNozzo! Open up! We're going to the movies remember?"  
"I can't hear anything. What if he stayed overnight at this woman's place or..."  
"Hush Timmy. Do you hear that?" They both lean into the door then step back startled as a loud groan comes from within. "Tony? Tony are you there?" There is no response.  
"Stand back Abs."  
"What are you going to do?"  
"Break the door in. We have to find out what's going on in there."  
"Or you could just use the key" she suggests taking one from her pocket and handing it to him.  
"Why do you have a key to Tony's place?" he asks as he inserts it in the lock.  
"From when he was at sea."  
"Oh. Now stay here." McGee draws his gun before cautiously entering the apartment. Looking around he can see nothing out of place then there is another low groan. McGee follows the sound and opens the door into another room. His jaw drops in amazement as he holsters his gun and calls out for Abby.  
"Abs! All clear. You can come in."  
She walks through the apartment and into the room. McGee starts laughing as she begins to yell.  
"Tony! How did you get like this? Oh, my poor baby." She rushes over to the bed and pulls the gag out of Tony's mouth before turning to glare at McGee. "Come and help me untie him."  
McGee comes over and begins to work at the knots of the ropes that are tying Tony's feet to the end of the bed whilst Abby works on those binding his arms to the headboard. He is wearing only his boxers.  
"Humf."  
"What's that Tony?"  
"Thanks Abs."  
"You're welcome. What happened?"  
"I'm never picking up a woman online again. And she seemed to nice. Things just got a little out of hand."  
"I'll say." McGee chuckles.  
"You tell anyone about this probie and I'll kill you." Tony glares at Tim.  
"I won't. Promise."  
"Abby?"  
"And neither will I." As they remove the ropes he sits up and rubs at his wrists.  
"So are we still on for the movies?"  
"If you're sure you're up for it we can probably catch the next screening" Abby replies looking at her watch.  
"Just give me a few minutes to get dressed. Go make yourselves some coffee." They step out into the living room as he begins to dress. As he does so he makes a solemn vow to himself not only to never pick up women online again but also to never forget rule nine as he had last night leaving his knife back in his desk drawer in the squad room. The Boss's rules were applicable in so many situations he really would have to try harder to follow them in the future!

Rule 9 - Never go anywhere without a knife. One Shot One Kill & Missing.


	31. Chapter 31

McGee's Apartment. Midnight.

He turns over in bed and finds himself staring at the ceiling again as he done many nights over the past few weeks. Having been awoken by some noise from the street he knows that there is now no way his thoughts will let him sleep. Sighing he gets out of bed and pulling on a robe goes to sit at his typewriter. He gently places his fingers on the keys, takes a deep breath and begins to type.

_I am so, so screwed. There is no way they are ever going to forgive me for this. Well, O.K. Abby might after about a trillion years but Tony certainly won't and Ziva might get out her paperclips! And the Boss, oh God what Gibbs will say? I mean I never, never thought it would come to this. It all started so innocently on that night years ago. I didn't dream this would ever, could ever happen. Mind you I'm guessing the others won't see that as much of an excuse._

_In a way it is kind of a betrayal of them. What if they don't want to work with me anymore? What will I do? I really don't want to be transferred to another team but after this Gibbs might not give the Director a choice. Hmm. Maybe they won't find out. After all who would tell them? And I was very careful in covering my tracks. I have learnt some things about undercover operations and keeping secrets during my years here._

He yawns and looking at the clock on the wall decides he should try and get some rest. Thankfully it is now Saturday and he doesn't have to work. As he drifts into a restless slumber his last thought is this _yeah, if they ever find out I've written a book about them and it's going to be published I will never hear the end of it!  
_

Rule 4 - The best way to keep a secret, keep it to yourself. Blowback.


	32. Chapter 32

NCIS Squad Room.

"Psst, Tony." The whisper from behind him so startles the Special Agent that he bolts upright spilling papers everywhere. "Abs! Don't sneak up on me like that!"  
"Sorry" she responds not at all contritely as she comes around to stand in front of his desk.  
"Can I help you with something?"  
"Yeah. Have you noticed Jimmy acting strange these past few days?"  
"No. Why?"  
"Oh, no reason. Catch ya later." She walks away.

Autopsy.  
"Hey Duckman."  
"Good morning Abigail. What can I do for you?"  
"Have you notice Jimmy acting hinky these last few days? Do you know if there's something wrong?"  
"Well now that you mention it he has been a little distracted lately. I think he's been worried about his studies."  
"Oh. That must be it. Thanks Ducky."  
"You're welcome my dear." She leaves and he returns to his paperwork.

Abby's Lab. A Few Days Later.

MGee is working on a laptop whilst she is working at her desk. "Tim?"  
"Yeah."  
"Have you notice Jimmy acting strangely lately?"  
"No."  
"Maybe it's just me. He's been really odd around me this whole week."  
"Odd how?"  
"Offering to carry boxes of evidence, pulling out my chair in the break room and a couple of times I think he's been staring at me when I've been in Autopsy. It's starting to freak me out."  
"Don't worry. He's probably just got a crush on you."  
"WHAT!"  
"Calm down Abby I was joking. Do you want me to talk to him?"  
"Yeah. Thanks."

NCIS Break Room.

"Hey, Palmer."  
"Hey, Tim. What's up?"  
"Well. Ahh."  
"Is there a problem?"  
"No. It's just that Abby said you've been acting kind of odd around her and she wants to know why."  
Palmer looks around. "Um. You see it's like this. I was bringing some evidence down to the lab on Monday and I overheard..." He looks around again and continues in a whisper. "I heard Abby telling someone she's pregnant and that's not the most amazing bit. She's having twins and Agent Gibbs is the father."  
McGee bursts out laughing. "Oh. Oh. Palmer..."  
"What? I don't think it's that funny actually. I mean what will happen when..."  
"It's O.K. Jimmy" Tim interrupts. "She's not."  
"But I heard..."  
"Yeah, she just said that to get my attention cos I was ignoring her. It was a joke Palmer."  
"Oh."  
"See you later."  
"Bye." As McGee walks away he is still chuckling to himself then stops abruptly when he has a thought. O.K. so she was not pregnant this time but one day she might be. Abby with raging pregnancy hormones? That truly was a scary thought.

Rule 3 - Don't believe what you're told. Double check. Yankee White.


	33. Chapter 33

NCIS Squad Room.

Feeling the hairs on his neck start to tingle Tony looks up from his paperwork to find Ziva glaring at him in her typical I'm-so angry-I'm-about-to get-out-the-paperclips-and-hurt-you way.  
"Is there something wrong Agent David?"  
"Yes, Agent DiNozzo and you know exactly what it is."  
"I do?'' he questions totally perplexed. "Maybe you should give me a hint."  
"This morning." She says nothing further but continues to glare. He thinks a moment then realizes what she must be referring to.  
"Oh. You're upset about this morning."  
"Yes, Tony. You should not have done it. You could have been killed."  
"And who might have killed me?"  
"Me. What were you thinking?"  
"Well, I...that is...I..."  
"Come on Tony tell us what you were thinking. You are the senior field agent after all."  
"Who asked you into this conversation McInterruptus?" Tony glares at Tim.  
"I just think Ziva has a valid point Tony. You know you shouldn't have done it."  
"Come guys I was just following the rules." Ziva and McGee looked puzzled. "O.K. technically I wasn't hiding Ziva by pushing her aside but I was protecting her and you know..."  
Ziva is still glaring at him. "Tony you know that rule only applies to children."  
"Children and women Ziva."  
"But I am not a woman."  
"You're not?" DiNozzo starts to grin and then thinks better of it as he sees the look on her face.  
"You know what I mean."  
"Hardly ever" he mutters.  
"I grew up with the head of Mossad as my father, I was a Mossad officer and now I am an NCIS Special Agent. I have skills you can only dream of Tony and I am quite capable of taking care of myself. I am no mere feeble woman." Ziva rises from her desk and walks over to stand in front of Tony's.  
"Sorry."  
"It was not necessary but thanks anyway Tony."  
"You're quite welcome" he calls after her as she walks towards the elevator. A small chuckle causes him to turn and look at McGee. "What!"  
"You two really make quite a pair."  
"She started it."  
"And you responded." Tim grins at him mischievously  
"So?"  
"So, Tony. You're both to blame. You know how independent she is. Having you help her out must have been hard for her and for her to feel..."  
"DiNozzo! McGee!" Gibbs barks entering the room and sitting at his desk.  
"Yes, Boss" they reply simultaneously.  
"I know what hard thing you'll be feeling if you don't get back to it."  
"On it Boss." As he glares the agents put their heads down and begin to type furiously. He was Gibbs and what Gibbs wants he always gets.

Rule 44: First things first, hide the women and children. Patriot Down.  
This rule was mentioned in this episode, but did not receive a number until the episode Rule Fifty-one.


	34. Chapter 34

*For alix33 who gave me part of the idea.*

NCIS Evidence Garage. Very,Very Late One Night.

"Ouch!"  
"Do not be such a baby Tony."  
"Does it have to be so tight? It hurts."  
"Yes. I want to be sure you are unable to move." She grins as she pulls on the fastenings around his wrists. Tony looks around the room as she bends to check the fastenings around his ankles.  
"And you are sure the Director authorized this?"  
"Yes. I told you Tony she thinks I need the practice and that you are the perfect person to help me."  
"Practice!" he yelps. "I thought you just needed an assistant. Nobody said anything about practice."  
"Well Tony since joining NCIS I have not had much opportunity to do this and as my skills will be on display not only to our colleagues but also, potentially people from other agencies the Director thought some refreshing of those skills might be necessary."  
"Hmph." Tony responds a little sulkily.  
"Oh cheer up DiNozzo. After all you are the senior field agent. Where has your sense of adventure gone?" She crosses the room and begins to rummage in a box.  
"Used it up allowing you to drive home from that last crime scene" he mutters quietly.  
"What was that?"  
"Nothing Ziva. Nothing."  
"Good." She takes a knife from the box and crosses back to him whilst examining it. "Now is not a good time to annoy me DiNozzo." She grins at him. "Oh, and I forgot to mention Director Shepard said she might come down and get involved in this too. She said maybe I could teach her some things."  
"The Director wants to be involved in this?"  
"Only if you will help. She stressed that part."  
"She did? I wonder why?"  
"She said it had something to do with your singing ability. I do not know to what she was referring."  
"I think I do."  
"Anyway we should get started. First I will..." She is interrupted by the ping of the elevator doors opening and Abby steps into the room. Taking in Tony fastened to a board in the middle of the room and Ziva standing there with a knife in her hand her eyes widen in amazement.  
"What is going on in here? Are you O.K. Tony?" She rushes over to him and turns to glare at Ziva.  
"I'm fine Abs. Perfectly fine."  
"Then why are you tied up? Oh. I'm so sorry. Am I interrupting something _personal_?" She asks with a wicked gleam in her eyes.  
"No!" Ziva and Tony respond looking shocked at the suggestion.  
"Tony has kindly agreed..."  
"That is been ordered by the Director."  
"To help me practice."  
"Practice what?"  
"My knife throwing skills. I am putting together a little routine for the inter-agency Christmas party."  
"That is so cool. Can I have a go?"  
"No!" Tony shouts in panic.  
"I do not see why not."  
"Cool! I'm sure McGee would like to learn some new skills too. He's just upstairs doing some back ups. Let me go get him." She rushes to the elevator.  
"I do not know about this Ziva. McClumsy with a knife?"  
"Well perhaps this will teach you a lesson Tony."  
"What lesson is that?"  
"Never,ever sing a report to the Director of NCIS." She chuckles.  
"You know I think I might even make it a DiNozzo rule."

Rule 9 - Never go anywhere without a knife. One Shot One Kill, Missing and other eps.


	35. Chapter 35

A RULE FOR EVERYTHING.

NCIS Squad Room.

"I don't believe it!"  
"What is it Tony?" McGee enquires glancing over at his colleague.  
"I don't quite know how to explain it. Have you checked the interdepartmental email today?"  
"Not yet."  
"Well do so. Right now."  
"O.K." With a few mouse clicks Tim opens and begins to read his email. A few minutes later he lets out a gasp. "This can't really be happening can it? I mean after the last time I thought..."  
"Yeah, probie. I know what you mean."  
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Have you read your email yet guys?" Abby enters and begins to pace back and forth in front of their desks.  
"Yes but why were you reading the list of personnel authorized..."  
"I clicked on the wrong heading" she interrupts. "This can't be happening. I mean after the last time. It's just wrong."  
"We know Abby but what can we do? This came from the top. Gibbs must have recommended it to the Director. We just have to accept it."  
"Hmm. I'll start praying now then." She hugs them both before leaving. The guys chuckle a little with embarrassment at their reactions then get back to work. After all there was nothing they could do except wait and see what happened next.

A Crime Scene. Later That Week.

"Remind me again Ziva why we are in this godforsaken cabin in the middle of nowhere and why I am the one searching this disgusting mess for shell casings?" DiNozzo moans poking disgustedly through some vomit with a latex encased finger.  
"You know perfectly well why DiNozzo." Ziva grins at him then continues to snap off some more photos of the scene.  
"Well sure Officer David I do know that the death of this lieutenant is probably tied in with that case from almost a year ago that had to be dropped as the lawyers said there was not enough evidence to proceed. I also know..." He lowers his voice. "That _he _became a totally obsessed and kept working it in his own time until all avenues were exhausted."  
"So why are you whining then?" She shoots him an irritated glance.  
"Why did I get the vomit? I mean I am still the senior field agent after all."  
"Because it was my case when you were away at that conference and Gibbs was on hiatus. That means it's still my case and you follow my lead now." McGee barks as he enters the room. "Next there's the bags of garbage out the back to be gone through. "  
"What is this probie payback?" DiNozzo moans heading towards the door. Ziva smiles as he passes her.  
"Wait!" DiNozzo turns back. "Ziva you can go through the garbage now you're done with photos."  
"Me?"  
"You shouldn't have smiled. Tony you can go and interview the sheriff."  
"Thanks Boss." They both hurriedly exit the room.

Outside The Cabin. A Few Minutes Later.

"So that is all I know Special Agent DiNozzo."  
"I will probably want to talk to the men who found the body. You say they are longtime friends of the deceased?"  
"No. I wouldn't say that exactly. They knew him is all."  
"Might they have had a reason to want him dead?"  
"Well I wouldn't say that exactly."  
"What would you say then Sheriff?"  
"Tom had a problem with Simpson shooting on his property and there was some talk of the lieutenant being a little too friendly with Darren's girlfriend at the diner in town and..."  
"I get the picture. Where are they?"  
"I told them all to stay together at the diner. Didn't want them getting in the way up here."  
"Thanks Sheriff." DiNozzo turns and begins to walk back to the cabin but meets Tim coming out.  
"It seems like the locals who found the body had no reason to like our Lieutenant Simpson. The sheriff sent them down to the diner."  
"He sent them away?"  
DiNozzo sighs. "At least they're all in one place. Shall I head down and interview them?"  
"Good idea. Then come back here and help Ziva finish processing the cabin. Hopefully Ducky will have arrived by then."  
"How come he's not here yet? Did Jimmy get lost again?"  
"No. He was flying back from that medical examiners meeting and Palmer had to collect him from the airport first before heading here.I'm going back to the Navy Yard now so you and Ziva will have to bring the van back."

The Cabin. Some Time Later Still.

"All done. Let's get out of here."  
"I couldn't agree more Officer David." She walks out as DiNozzo finishes packing up his gear. "See you back at the yard Doc." He walks outside to find Ziva glaring at the medical examiners van that is parked so that it almost blocking the case response truck from leaving.  
"What was Palmer thinking parking that close and at that angle?" Ziva exclaims angrily.  
"Probably too distracted by thoughts of Agent Lee. You know what he's been like since they got together. I'll just go get the keys and move it." He puts his gear down and starts to turn around.  
"No."  
"No? But Ziva there is no way you'll get through that gap."  
"Won't I?'' Her eyes gleam mischievously.  
"But .But. But." Tony stutters.  
"Oh stop whining Tony. Let's go." He grabs his gear and they both climb into the truck. DiNozzo makes sure to fasten his seat-belt.  
"Here goes." Tony closes his eyes as Ziva begins to reverse. A couple of moments later she lets out a  
triumphant yell. "Yes!" Tony opens his eyes as she turns the truck towards the road from the cabin and begins to accelerate. "Well done Officer David. Now just take it easy on the corners and we'll be home in no time."  
"Oh do shut up DiNozzo." She begins to increase her speed.  
"Ziva!"  
"I know what I'm doing." She continues to hurtle around the curves at an alarming pace as Tony tries to decide if it is worse with his eyes open or closed. Suddenly there is a screeching of tyres as the truck misses a corner crashing through a barricade then flipping and coming to a stop upside down and smashed into a tree.

Abby's Lab. Approx. An Hour Later. Her phone starts to ring.

She flips open her mobile. "You've reached the wonderful world of LAbby. Speak."  
"Ab..way home..Tony and Ziva..terrible terrible..."  
"Palmer? Is that you? What's going on?"  
"accident...winding road...speed...Ziva drives...luck...all dead."  
"DEAD!" she yells as the phone connection drops out. Furiously hitting buttons to end the call and call him back she rushes from the lab up to the squad room with the dial tone sounding like a taunt in her ear and her boots thumping on the stairs echoing the pounding of her heart.

NCIS Squad Room.

Gibbs hangs up the phone as Abby enters.  
"What's going on? Palmer was saying something about Tony and Ziva being dead but the phone reception was lousy and he kept dropping out and now he's not answering and..."  
"It's O.K. Abby." Gibbs stands up from his desk and places his hands on her shoulders. "Ducky says everyone at the scene heard the crash and started down the road to find out what happened. When they got there Ziva had already used her knife to cut them free and pulled DiNozzo clear of the truck and up to the road. She's a bit bruised and has some cuts from the broken windshield but otherwise she'll be fine."  
"And Tony?"  
"He was unconscious and it appears he took a pretty bad knock to the head so..."  
"Oh!"  
"The sheriff arranged for him to be choppered to the nearest hospital for tests and Ducky went with him. Jimmy is driving Ziva there to be checked out too."  
"But he's going to be O.K. right Gibbs?" She asks anxiously.  
"We won't know more until after the tests."  
"But why did Jimmy say something about luck and that they were dead?"  
"I guess he was trying to say it might have been worse and we're lucky because they could all be dead. Now back to work. "  
"Hm." She smiles a little shakily and hugs him before leaving.

McGee's phone rings. "Agent McGee." He listens a moment. "O.K." He hangs up. "The Lieutenant's CO is downstairs. I'll bring him up and put him in Interrogation. I did not get much of a rapport going with him during the last investigation but I'm sure he's hiding something so I want you to do the interview this time while I observe." Gibbs just stares at him. McGee shuffles his feet nervously."On it Boss." Gibbs snaps and as he turns away he notices the pleased grin on Tim's face.

NCIS Interrogation. A Short Time Later.

"You've no proof of that Agent Gibbs." Gibbs just stares at him. "Agent McGee had no proof last time and you have no proof now." Gibbs still stares. "All you have is a theory, a possible scenario of how things might have happened but no proof. No hairs, no fibers, no blood, no computer records, DNA, fingerprints, surveillance footage. Nothing. My alibi is rock solid. I logged out of the computer system at work at precisely six thirty and was home about an hour later. My wife had made my favorite meal of roast chicken with all the trimmings. We ate, cleaned up and watched Master and Commander before turning in for the night. Your agents verified all this with my wife. You have nothing and yet you still persist in this ridiculous charade and drag me down here again and again to interview me."  
"You're wrong."  
"I'm wrong?"  
"I do have something."  
"What?"  
"My gut."  
"Your gut Agent Gibbs?" the suspect queries looking as if he believes the agent opposite him has completely lost his mind. "Your gut!" He yells. "And for that you disrupt my life? NCIS visits me at work, at home at my golf course. Interviews my colleagues, friends, wife, ex-girlfriends and you have the..."

His tirade is interrupted by the door swinging open as Abby bursts into the room. "Gibbs, oh Gibbs!" He rises from the chair and grabbing her arm drags her back into the coridoor and slams the door behind him. "Abs!" He glares at her. "You know better than this. What is it?"  
"Sorry. I thought you'd want to know right away. Ducky just called. Tony's woken up and he's going to be fine. They'll keep him overnight for observation but he's going to be fine. Fine." She informs him bouncing up and down with joy.  
"Good."  
"Forgive the interruption?" She asks cheekily.  
"Sure". She hugs him and he returns to the interview.

The Hospital. Several Hours Later. Tony is sitting up in bed with Ziva seated beside him.

"You didn't have to stay. You could've got a ride back with Ducky and Jimmy."  
"I wanted to. I wanted to make sure you're really O.K."  
"Would you like to join me and see how fine I am?" He gives her a weak attempt at his usual suggestive grin.  
"Tony! I guess you are fine. Anyway, I also wanted to say..that is...I at..and I should.."  
"Don't!" Instinctively he knows that she is trying to apologize but even though he had cause he didn't want her feeling guilty on his account. He was going to be fine and right now that was all that mattered. "These are dangerous jobs Ziva and bad things happen..." An image of Kate smiling as she was shot flitters across his mind and he impatiently shakes his head as if to shake the image away. "We just have to make the most of every moment."  
"You are starting to sound like a greeting card." She smiles.  
"It's the drugs."  
"You should get some sleep now."  
He closes his eyes and murmurs something she can't quite catch. She leans into the bed. "What?"  
"Stay with me Ziva. Stay."  
"I will stay. I will stay right here." His only response is a gentle snore.

Watching him lying there as the clock ticks through the hours she wishes he had let her say sorry. She was sorry even though she knew it would not change how she drove in the future. How she drove was just who she was. The reason behind it a secret that no-one not Jenny, Gibbs, McGee, Abby or even Tony would ever know. Though perhaps after this DiNozzo did deserve to know. She'd told Ducky late one night in Autopsy over a pot of tea. He'd noticed her reaction when she'd come upon him conducting an autopsy for three men who'd died in a training accident when their tank had somehow run over some unexploded ordinance. Fortunately the ordinance was decades old so the impact was not as bad as it could have been and there were still body parts available to be examined and identified.

She'd sat sipping tea as Ducky coaxed from her the memories that the autopsy had brought up from the innermost reaches of her mind. She'd seen a good friend die. His car hit and exploding several meters away from her and there had been nothing she could do to help him. Quite often she saw that car over and over in her dreams forcing out happier memories of his smile, his jokes. Time spent together complaining over work or relaxing over a meal with his was why she always drove so fast. A moving target is so much harder to hit. She starts to doze.

The Hospital. The Next Day.

"DiNozzo."  
"Yes Boss."  
"I did not give you permission to be sick." It was a relief to see with his own eyes that his agent really was fine.  
"Are you trying to say you need me Boss?"  
"To fill out an incident report."  
"Oh."  
"For now just tell me. Ziva you first."  
"I was driving and I must have been going too fast you see it had been such a long day and the medical examiner's van had been parked..."  
"It was my fault Boss."  
"_Your_ fault?"  
"I'm the senior field agent. Everything is my responsibility. I should have seen that Officer David was tired and in no fit state to drive. I should've insisted she let me."  
"But Tony I was..."  
"No, Ziva I..."  
"Hey! I spoke with the doctors and you're both cleared to go home. Sort out the discharge paperwork and I'll see you in the parking lot."  
"On it Boss." He leaves as they start to get their things together.  
"Thanks for that Tony."  
"Hey. You're my partner. I'll always have your back. I'm just going to insist that I drive from now on." He grins.

As Gibbs makes his way through the front doors and out into the parking lot he thinks that really when it came down to it this accident was _his_ fault. He knew how frustrated Ziva had been since the Director had ordered her not to drive so he had recommended to Jenny that she be placed back on the list of personnel authorized to drive an official NCIS vehicle.

NCIS Squad Room. A Week Later. DiNozzo, David and McGee are eating Chinese at their desks.

"Congratulations McLeader. Quite a successful conclusion to the case even after the disastrous beginning when you got everything wrong."  
"Everything?"  
"Well this new case had nothing to do with your old one and nothing to do with the lieutenant's work which was your favorite initial theory."  
"True but then I did get Darren to confess to confronting the lieutenant about the affair with his girlfriend that had led to her becoming pregnant and how that argument developed into a fight that got out of control."  
"Yeah that was a good interrogation probie."  
"Thanks Tony but it really was a team effort you know. You guys found the evidence that placed him at the scene."  
"And we even got a bonus bad guy and solved your previous case too."  
"But that really was more by luck than any effort on our part. If the CO's wife had not discovered he was having an affair she would not have admitted to us that his whole alibi was a lie."  
"Don't forget she also told us where the location of that second safe was that contained those documents."  
"Yes we were quite lucky with this case. Maybe Abby's prayers had some affect. After all that accident might have been much more serious."  
"I think you're exaggerating Ziva."  
"No,Tony I am not. What if you had been more seriously hurt? Or I was? Or if I was unable to cut you free? Or the gas tank exploded?"  
Tony has turned a little pale. "Thank you again for rescuing me then."  
"You're welcome but you really should be thanking Gibbs. His rules. That's why I had my knife."  
DiNozzo raises his drink can. "Then I propose a toast." The others raise theirs. "To Gibbs' Rules."  
"Gibbs' Rules" Ziva and Tim echo simultaneously and a gruff voice chimes in from behind Tony "That I do."

_Rule 51 - Sometimes you're wrong  
and  
Rules 1 & 3 (both),2,4,6,7,8,9,11,12,13,15,18,22 & 38._

Thank You for reading the final story in the Gibbs' Rules Series. It is time for the muse to rest its weary head on a soft pillow and for the author's pen to move on to a clean piece of paper or more accurately to a blinking cursor on computer monitor. Thanks for all the reviews and I hope you continue to enjoy my future scribblings and 'back catalogue'. Gail.


End file.
